We are inundated with rules defined for us – codes, policy, law, procedures, doctrines, … We could go down a rabbit hole untangling the WHY behind societal and cultural rules, but as there is no escaping rules in an organized culture, that feels pointless.
Let’s instead focus where we have choice and authority: Internal Rules. These are the calcifications and distillations of what we believe to be true: about ourselves and the world.
We choose them, consciously or otherwise, to govern our lives & thus, determine our reality. They are the declarative, often binary beliefs (this versus that, right versus wrong, possible versus impossible) that guide our actions.
By a young age, most of us have unconsciously formed rules based on our experiences, parents, & culture. For example, a child told repeatedly their family lacks the “math gene,” may have unconsciously developed a rule / calcified belief that “I am not good at math.” A different child is told they have a “mind for math” will develop a rule opposite of the first child. What differences do you think will occur in these two children as they learn math?
Doesn’t feel like a rule? It isn’t in its classical form but these beliefs govern our life like rules. Don’t believe you are creative? You will live your life from a place of LACK OF CREATIVITY. You don’t question the law of red means stop, just as we don’t question these deeply rooted beliefs of self.
By consciously choosing powerful, positive, and spiritual rules, we create the opportunity for a powerful, positive, and spiritual life. And we can UNWIND old rules, rewrite old scripts, and repattern old beliefs.
Here’s the rub: It isn’t as easy as simply saying: “Now I deeply believe this.” Beliefs becomes RULES only after they have been well tread, reinforced, and thus calcified over time. The first time the thought “I am not smart enough” pierces your awareness doesn’t result in lifetime beliefs. The 1,000th time this belief is reinforced externally, internally, verbally, or behaviorially? Now we’re getting sticky.
Will you grab your journal for a moment? Write down all the beliefs you hold about yourself that don’t serve. Then consider where you experience fear, anxiety, embarrassment, worry, or nervousness about how you will perform or be perceived, where you feel like a fraud, or what you tell others you “aren’t.” These are the hiding spots of subconscious “rules” or calcified beliefs.
Why give them more energy? By naming them, we externalize them from ourselves thus depowering them. The trick is to then reframe them not necessarily as UNTRUE (yet) but as separate from you.
Here’s an example: If I’ve believe deeply & thus reinforced over decades through negative self-talk & energized with fear that I’m not smart enough, simply telling myself every day I AM SMART is a BIG stretch. It can be helpful but it doesn’t do the deeper work of the subconscious.
Instead: if I play with ideas like:
- I have been told I’m not good at math.
- I made the assumption that, because I didn’t learn science the way it was taught, that I wasn’t capable intellectually.
- I have told myself for years that I’m not smart enough.
- It appeared to me that I had to work harder at school than my peers, but I see I can’t really know that.
- I did not receive positive marks in school.
Can you see the difference? These all externalize it and are statements of fact versus assumption. Now, there is oxygen to work with alternative beliefs, because the crack in our story if POSSIBILITY. Not woo-woo wouldn’t it be magical but true spaciousness for a new paradigm.
Just like we can choose to believe the negative, we can groove positive beliefs into life mastery. We can choose to believe we are worthy, aligned with spirit, capable of attracting abundance, able to create financial freedom, smart enough, beautiful as designed.
And when we BELIEVE these thoughts, our actions shift. We take risks because failure doesn’t mean something about US, it simply means we didn’t get a result. Our lives become an invitation to joy even as we stretch and grow. We don’t have to beat the negative tapes out of us because they dissolve with time. We EM*power our truth.
Love & Peace,
I believe your work in this world matters, and so do you. Learn more about how to embody your potential & grab my free e-book, The Pursuit of True North, on my website (www.laurajuarez.com)
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