I’ve been thinking a lot about WHO we are. If someone asks you, tell me about you, what do you answer? I’m a mother, business owner, professional baseball player, motorcycle enthusiast, tattoo artist, singer, … Fill in your blank. (PS… of that list, I claim only 3 performed at varying degrees of proficiency).
Does that answer more deeply reveal me or simply allow the asker to create a more accurate diagram of my roles? In a perfect world (aka: not ours), our roles have been carefully chosen and transformed through the integration of our true WHO. In other words, the essence of who you are – what makes you uniquely you and makes your heart leap – led you to the conscious choice of the roles you play in this present chapter, and your essence will lead you through seasons of transformation as you shed and adopt new roles moving forward.
Defining your WHO is like explaining the smell of the number 4. Your essence morphs beyond the boundary of vocabulary, and yet, when you settle into your bones and feel into your truth, you know. Whether you can explain it is irrelevant. (Can we all please stop feeling like we need to explain ourselves? – more on this at another time).
In our imperfect world, we have made choices that delivered us to this moment… With the exception of roles with us since birth (and maybe not even those), we have chosen each role with some level of self-awareness and trust. This includes decisions about your roles, relationships, and time allocation. What does how you spend your time say about WHO you believe you are & what you are worthy of?
Once we choose roles, our incredible brains love to put hooks into them and claim those roles as part of who we are. We BEcome what we DO (an illusion). And thus, when our DOING shifts, we have a crisis of identity. I experienced this last year. (Also a story for another day).
I said earlier that our WHO refuses to be contained to spoken language. Without words, how can we deepen our connection to our native state of being?
The first step is to practice trusting our inner wisdom without needing to understand, explain, or articulate. The second is to invest time in creating spaciousness; to feel into your roots, your heart, and listen. Meditation, self-care, & contemplative prayer are beautiful tools. If this is a new practice for you, patience. This is a retraining of the relationships between your know-it-all mind and your wise heart. Just like dynamics in our human relationships shift slowly, with effort, and practice, so does our inner relationship with self.
The third is to journal what comes up. Just write it as you feel / hear / see / attune to it. The fourth is to embody the wisdom. Carry your journal with you – read it daily – add to it. I have PAGES of TRUTH written down consistently starting in 2009 (eerily timed with the collapse of the market which took my business and my self-identification with it into a dark hole).
Play with it. Don’t try to wrap your brain around it, get it right, or figure it out. Be fluid. receptive. curious. playful. To quote Einstein: “Time exists simply so everything doesn’t happen all at once.”
Last of all, take a peek at my imperfect attempt to illustrate this in an artform (art for me is charts and graphs). Reflect back (gently) in life review. From what sphere are you choosing more often?